I struggle with this. Not the fretting or worrying part, but the praying part. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 simply states, "Pray without ceasing." I tell myself that's what I do...pray, pray, and pray but I think I really just plan. I must possess a certain amount of arrogance in thinking I can plan any situation and it will result in a positive outcome. For 40 years, I have planned for my family, my career, and my free time with a measure of success...but that doesn't serve me well in my relationship with God. When I'm faced with a situation where my planning can't make things right, I know I'm not in control of anything. Never have been, never will be. Especially in a third world country! God is our ultimate planner and knows our future and I'm thankful He's present in every situation. My only role is to call out to Him for ALL things and give Him the credit for all the good things He has done. I know He hears me and is faithful. He demonstrates it over and over again but none so sweetly as in His care of Titus this last month.
I love Titus's squishy little face...he's growing big and strong. With his growth there will be additional messy moments due to Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome, medication changes, doctor's visits and limited healthcare access in Guatemala but I'm "settled" with leaving Titus in God's hands. Much more at peace than I was 3 days ago. I was 1 1/2 hours from leaving Peten when Titus started having additional problems. Quick decisions were made but God already had it all under control. I'm so thankful I was able to stay with the kiddos in Peten while Jim & Shelley rushed Titus back to Guatemala City. The Kiddos and I did just fine for 4 days until they got back. God's plans are always perfect and on time! Lord willing, I fly home to Kansas late tomorrow night...it will be bittersweet.